I spend my time pouting about how they are running around Brazil like regular old tourists, instead of hooking up with black magic priests and voodoo witch doctors and stuff. “I know I’m not good, I tied him to a stake and castrated him with a machete; and then I — ate his genitals” she said. “I’m the boring one of Hollywood’s rising young stars who mostly stays out of tabloid headlines dominated by the likes of Lindsay Lohan and other troubled young celebrities, but I like to use a man’s guts for paint.” While all this is going on the anthropologist is watching her friends get eaten, eating them is often a mindless transaction; we consume the tourists simply because they are there, and you can bet she’s thinking about how it turned out she was all wrong about her cannibalism is a myth theory. “I’ll never get my Masters Degree now! You stupid cow, who eats the severed genitals of Uranus like an idiot! What are you doing?”

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